I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
