What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize