he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
