Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
