OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
