So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
