I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
