didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
