i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
