my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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