Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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