ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
