Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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