I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
