my shit smells like andre
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
