Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
