Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
