when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
