I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
