Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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