What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
