id be glad to
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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