He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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