im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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