I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize