She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
