you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
