Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
