It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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