i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
