Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We don't watch enough power rangers
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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