i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
