Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
