bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
