im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
