Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
