so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize