why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
