you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Are we still banned from the library?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
