We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
