That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We had to coat check the pizza.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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