yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Watching her eat just hurts me
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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