He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
