the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
