dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
