Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
