Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
