The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
