She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize