You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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