Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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