ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
