Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
