The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
