Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize