You really coming over, don't trick.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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