How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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