chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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