if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
