He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
