it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
