Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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