it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
