i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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