Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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