I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
