it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
