In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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